This may sound like cliche but they say that when you finally meet the love of your life, time would seem to stop andall you'll notice is that person, as if there's only the two of you left in the world.This was what actually happened when I saw him. What I find really weird was he's not the most good-looking guy in theroom yet he was the first guy that caught my attention. Right then and there I know there was something in him, something I can't clearly describe in words. It's as if I've known him before..and now I feel like I'm still trapped in time. We rarely see each other now and worst thing is--I've fallen in love with him.Never thought I'll experience this..It's just so sad that when I'm finally sure thatI'm inlove, the guy I'm inlove with doesn't feel the same way and we're just friends.As of now I'm trying to forget him by seeing other guys, but I keep on comparing him to these other guys.he's the only guy who never intimidates me. I feel really comfortable being with him.And now I miss him so much. He was absent yesterday--see that's how obsessed I am with him, Ieven did a research to track his phone log-in to see his schedule for this week.Haven't seen him for like 4 days now.

received an sms from tc,said he has good news for me.then he called saying plans regarding my supposed department transfer was cancelled--meaning,i'll be stayingin the xbox department..haha..with my BOM..anyways, also heard rumors that our account will be dissolved, not for long..haha again..kept on repeating that term,"haha".is this the effect of sleep-deprivation?

morose

got caught in a traffic jam on my way to the office..while sitting on the bus and cursing the motorists under my breath, caught sight of a funeral parlor with white coffins on display..seeing those coffins, can't help but think about death..how morbid..not scared of dying--as long as i don't die in a car crash, get murdered, or suffer from cancer with my hair falling off my head and me looking like a corpse..yeah right, am not scared to die..who am i kidding?i think it's scarier to think about any of your loved ones' death or the thought of what will happen to you after you die,where you'll end up (think about reincarnation, the concept of heaven and earth, oh! and the purgatory).i would want to be cremated two days after dying..so no one would notice how many people went to my funeral, i don't think there'll be lots of people who'll go there..sadly,we're being judged on how good you were when you were alive according to the number of people who attend your funeral..I like Mich Albom's concept of heaven in his book The Five People You Meet in Heaven--meeting five people who in one way or another affected your life--and stayingin your own heaven.Haven't read Dante Alighieri's The Divine Comedy yet, but would want to read it some time (although I'm quite unsure if I won't be bored reading this classic poem).

confused..

really pissed..am so confused if he really likes me or if he hates me..that bastard is so unpredictable--one time he'll be so sweet then all of a sudden he'll be getting on my nerves!!!i'm missin him when we're apart..but when we're together--i usually get mad at him over the most trivial things..

random thoughts...

was chatting with sid a while ago..kinda boring type of guy..still wondering why i used to like him...and why lynne evenbecame his gf..haha:) (peace lynn)read yara's blog last week--love that girl--thinks really weird yetif you try to analyze what she's saying,she's right and she has a point most of the time.it was because of her that i became so fond of jdoramas.:) we're both inlove woth hyde--sexy, shet!!f*ck!!!am really falling for _ _ _..wonder why..cant stop myself from thinkin bout that bastard..really excited to see him again later..hope we have the same sched..

hate being alone,who doesn't? hate eating on cafeterias alone, traversing the streets on my own, commuting alone..now, iv no choice but to get used to being alone..how ironic..feels like i'm back in high school..im always surrounded by bitches and bastards in our workplace...everything here is a big deal..everyones giving pet names or codenames to everybody..who knows some people here might be referring to me as "the stupid one."no use being nice,it wont change the fact that some people really do enjoy making fun out of other people..what the hell, dont give a damn..

haggard

am on my 2nd training week as a CIA (customer interactive associate).. training sched is 12midnight-9am.. i cant seem to think straight..bad headache..boring modules..hate listening to lectures about technical stuffs..even the econ lectures seem to be less boring compared to this..why is everyone (i mean the guys) raving about this girl (a co-trainee).. Nes said she's the complete embodiment of a pretty girl but no brains..hehe,we're so mean, she's not that bad, i think..but i think she really loves all the attention she's getting, specially from the trainor--also a peyups grad..but the main difference between this trainor and me--i don't brag about being a UP grad..he's even proud that he's an atheist..i think to stay sane in this world,you have to think that someone more powerful than anyone exists or someone oversees all the happenings here on earth..

xbox

my BUM days woould finally be over...got my first job--all i have to do is to play XBOX and answer clients queries on how to troubleshoot XBOX..great, i could play xbox for free and ill be paid doing something i'l' definitely enjoy doing..

watdapak!!!

i was supposed to meet my groupmates in humanidades for our report scheduled on thursday, august31...we agreed to meet at 1:30 on AS lobby..
i thought i was late and i was thinking of all the possible excuses i could tell them..
1:40-thank goodness, the leader hasn't yet arrived.
2:00-still no sign of the leader (by the way her name is steff)
2:30-watdapak!!received a text message from that steff saying she's still in front of PHAN, busy with her ORG activity..
dammit!!i woke up quite early so as not to be late.. i was so mad i am actually thinking of the most hurting words i could tell that leader..
goodluck sa report...

Rain

Another rainy day. rainy days often evoke such melancholy. when I draw near the window to watch the falling rain, i often find myself with longing, though i have no idea what it is that i feel my life is missing..
Hugs and kisses are so uncommon in the place where i grew up and i really envy people who could display affection without feeling uncomfortable or those who could show their emotions with childlike ease. I dont even remember the last time that i shed tears. I am well aware that i am not sentimental but i am wondering why i suddenly became intensely cold..